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Friday, June 10th, 2011
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12:36 am - Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll (Charles Lutwidge Dodgson)
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Read this today from start to finish in a couple of hours and don't have very much to say about it except that it's AWESOME, very entertaining (I've read it before, listened to the audiobooks as a kid.. best ever is a recording done by Christopher Plummer aka. Captain Von Trap from The Sound of Music, the voices he does are hiiiiilarious.)
For the sake of saying something, if you've seen the Disney cartoon movie:
-the Disney movie plot is mostly true to the book, though leaves out some scenes (the best one in the book is left out, the one about the Duchess and the baby and the pepper) and adds some scenes that are actually from "Through the Looking Glass" (for example, the scene with the flowers, as well as tweedle dee + tweedle dum).. also the trial at the end is not about Alice in any way, it's about persecuting the Knave of Hearts for stealing the tarts.
If you've seen the most recent Johnny Depp version, I just need to say:
-the Jabberwocky has NOTHING TO DO WITH THE PLOT of the original stories.. it irritated me that they took that and ran with it. It's actually just a curious poem that Alice reads in "Through The Looking Glass" and there's nothing else about it whatsoever.
Nothing whatever? NOTHING WHATEVER!
And no, by the way, there were no drugs involved in the writing of these stories, he wrote them for a little girl of family friends, Alice Liddell. Involving drugs in reading or listening to the books, or watching any adaptations is entirely another matter :)
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| Tuesday, May 24th, 2011
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2:52 pm - The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes
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This book of 12 stories is not the first nor the last that Sir Arthur Conan Doyle wrote of Mr. Sherlock Holmes, a figure that the doctor (his main profession) modelled after one of his university professors. The book wasn't what I expected, with no particular beginning or ending, no real continuity between stories (they sometimes reference other cases, some from earlier in the book, some not; the stories were originally published separately in a magazine.) They are told from the point of view of Dr. Watson so that the reader has little insight into Holmes' viewpoint and finds out only later, upon his description to Watson, what his thought process had been. Interestingly the stories rarely involve actual crime, and usually the reader has little chance to deduce the solution, with Holmes often disappearing for an extended period of time and then explaining later to Watson what had occurred. Nevertheless, the stories were interesting, easy to read. I was a little disappointed that there was no mention of Moriarty (a figure featured in a Star Trek TNG episode and named Holmes' main nemesis; no particular nemesis was referenced in this collection.)
I find some amusement in the references to drug use, usually opium, snuff (nicotine), or cocaine during this time period. For example, on the second page: "while Holmes, who loathed every form of society with his whole Bohemian soul, remained in our lodgings in Baker Street, buried among his old books, and alternating from week to week between cocaine and ambition, the drowsiness of the drug, and the fierce energy of his own keen nature." I love this line, the language, and the ideas contained within it!
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| Saturday, May 14th, 2011
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7:25 pm - The Adventures of Tom Sawyer
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Well this turned out to be a very different read from The Adv. of Huck Finn! The latter is narrated from Huck's perspective in his words, whereas T.S. is third person omniscient. As a result the language in T.S. is much more artistic. There are some beautiful descriptive passages, and I found myself often looking up words in the dictionary- words that are still used with the same meaning today, where with H.F. none of the words (because they're slang mostly I reckon!) I tried to look up weren't in the dictionary.
The difference in perspective is very interesting. Since both boys are prominent in both books, you have the opportunity to view the world through each of their perspectives (fiesty village boy vs. laid-back ragamuffin who sleeps in a barrel.)
I still find Huck the more endearing character, though Tom did grow on me: he's portrayed as something of a senseless twat in H.F. even though Huck idolizes him. In T.S. you have more sympathy with what's really just the romantic passions, energy, flights of fancy of a small roguish boy with a big imagination. Huck is simpler, but kinder.
Pertaining to my earlier comments on H.F., I was interested to notice that "the N-word" was not used in T.S. the same way it was in H.F. In T.S. there was little mention of slavery and slaves were denoted as "negro" EXCEPT when Tom was speaking with Huck, and then whichever boy was speaking would use "the N-word." So in retrospect, H.F. must have been meant to be a lot more politically charged than T.S., which is only logical given the subject matter.
I enjoyed both books very much, though T.S. is undoubtedly the easier and faster read.
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| Thursday, May 5th, 2011
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6:06 pm - The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn
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The first book I've read on my lovely Kobo e-reader!
I've seen so many movie/tv versions of this over the years, and likely tackled the book as a kid but found the language too daunting to see to completion. This time I was ready for the 19th century slang jargon!
What interested me most during this read was the treatment of slavery, the way the characters, especially Huck, treated and rationalized the moral issues. It's so easy in retrospect to say "what monsters" about slave-holders, and certainly some were monsters (as there's always been and probably always will be in humanity), but most folk were conditioned to believe that if you were black, your place in the world was slavery: the sky is blue, the grass is green, and a black person needs an owner. I got the impression that they believed this was a kindness more than a cruelty. The slave Jim, although he runs away to avoid being sold away from his wife and children, seems to fully accept his own place as intellectually inferior to whites, without question. It was a shock to me at first to see "the N-word" used so freely in this story, though eventually it sinks in that only a century ago this word wasn't actually intended as derogatory, it was just an identifier with no particular positive or negative tone.
Huck's morality in general is something interesting to me. He hardly ever does the right thing, but he almost always does it for the right reason. It put me in mind a little bit of Defoe's Moll Flanders, just in the sense of the fascinating ways which people justify their actions, whether honestly or not.
Samuel Clemens (alias Mark Twain) was actually very much in support of emancipation/abolition as well as women's rights. Surprisingly I didn't perceive this viewpoint while reading, the tone surrounding the issue remained relatively neutral with Jim portrayed all the while as a kind, naive innocent.
Anyways, Clemens' only real agenda (I believe) was to amuse children and remind adults of how their wheels turned when they were small. Mission accomplished. I enjoyed this read, so I think will move now to "The Adventures of Tom Sawyer" though it was actually written before Huck Finn, and though I do sympathize with Huck more than Tom (Tom is a little bastard lol! both characters are featured in both books.) Maybe I'll feel differently about Tom after, we'll see.
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| Saturday, January 15th, 2011
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7:59 pm - A Matter Of Taste
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I asked myself a question today that I found I could not answer, and so I pose it to you: if you could choose to disconnect food from pleasure, would you? That is, say you could have your taste buds deadened, or perhaps be able to retain some sense of taste but no longer experience the actual chemical release of endorphins when eating. Taking food back to the basics.. nourishment, survival.. instead of the opiate-like drug abuse it has become to our society.
You probably think "Hell no," right? But when you think about it.. it isn't all that natural to take pleasure from food is it? Of course it's all relative, primitive hunter kills deer, cooks and eats deer, deer probably tastes fantastic because hunter was probably pretty hungry and also feeling a sense of accomplishment. This type of pleasure is so different though, do you see what I mean? The natural way is to eat to survive, and enjoy it because it is keeping your body alive.. we've turned it into something else, eating not to nourish ourselves but in seeking to pleasure ourselves. It's like masturbation. Oral masturbation. One might argue that this is only negative when it is in excess.. though quite obviously this drug is abused to excess by the majority of North-Americans. According to StatsCan, between 2007-9, 37% of Canadians were overweight, and 24% obese. Obesity is one of the leading causes of death in North America (causing things like heart disease, diabetes, strokes.)
If I could stop tasting, it would greatly benefit my life. My body would take the shape it was meant to without the fat I've packed onto it, my body and mind would both probably feel much different on a diet meant only to nourish me, not pleasure me.. and perhaps I would find healthier ways to resolve whatever issues have caused my chemical addiction to tasty ingestibles.
Even with all these benefits, could I give up the pleasures of taste forever? I simply don't know. Maybe I would, and then maybe I would take simpler- but in the long run better- pleasures from my nourishment, once removed from the unnatural hyper-stimulation to my taste buds of processed sugars and deep-fryers. When I was doing the Dr. Bernstein Diet a couple of summers ago, I quite literally forgot what "the good stuff" tasted like.. I would sneak to the refrigerator at night for just one finger's dip into cream cheese and my oh my that sweet little morsel of cream cheese or an extra apricot was heavenly. If one is capable of experiencing such pleasure from the simpler things.. why allow the artificial, unhealthy, super-stimulants to take reign? I must think more on this.. the relativity of pleasure.. though the willpower required to choose the better path is still no different than when fighting a drug addiction (since it is indeed a drug addiction.)
It's a different question entirely for people who were born with the genetics to eat all these loathsome oral stimulants without seeing any negative physical effects. (If this is possible; people like Taylor can eat nothing but crap and never gain a pound, but I do wonder if there still isn't a dreadful toll on things like cholesterol levels that simply hasn't been brought to attention yet.)
If people exist whose bodies aren't harmed.. I suppose they'd say "why not get my pleasure from food, as I do from sex, or music, or exercise, etc etc." But for the rest of us.. the majority of us.. Everything in moderation, yes, but for some of us that's like saying "heroin in moderation." How to moderate a socially acceptable but addictive substance?
How important is it to you to be able to keep tasting delicious things, knowing that consumption is not very different from addiction to smoking cigarettes?
(By the way, if natural healthy foods, completely unprocessed, give you this kind of pleasure then congratulations to you, I might like to borrow your DNA to create my offspring.)
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| Thursday, January 6th, 2011
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2:45 pm - I'm Weird..
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I find it very odd that I can nearly run a red light (thanks for stopping me Carolyn lol) and feel almost nothing.. no panic or fear or hysteria of any kind.. true that it was after midnight and not many cars were around, but still.. years ago I would have been shaking and crying at such an experience.. I feel like that's how I SHOULD react.. but nothing. Strangely I dream quite frequently (over the last few years) about going through red lights and nothing happening when I hit the brakes.. though I've never crashed or hit anything in those dreams.. I hope they haven't desensitized me to real life! Then again.. that might even be for the better.. it's not like I'll ever run a red light on purpose, but it probably makes me a much safer driver that I don't panic or get upset. Heh, I like that.
So that doesn't bother me... however when I'm alone in an elevator and the door opens to let somebody else in.. even though I'll specifically say to myself "somebody will now be entering the elevator," without fail I jump out of my skin the instant someone steps into view. Weird right? It's embarrassing haha and I can't seem to get a grip on it :S I'm also super paranoid that when I get on an elevator alone at night there will be someone who's been just waiting in there for some unsuspecting young lady to get on.. creepy.
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| Monday, December 27th, 2010
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5:04 pm
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Hm stressful Christmas this year, everyone seeming to be stretched thin and jumping down each other's throats much more than usual (for Christmas-time.) Odd. Can only hope it will serve as a lesson for how things will be handled next year.
Best wishes to all in the new year. New Years Resolution: become productive member of society again!
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| Wednesday, September 29th, 2010
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2:38 pm - A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes
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One of my favourite things to do is dream. The when-you're-asleep kind of dreaming. I feel very fortunate that I dream vividly and often have extensive memory upon waking of my nocturnal adventures. They aren't always good dreams, sometimes neutral. Sometimes it's vague and foggy, sometimes there's a crystal clear universe of complexity in which I briefly dwell. Sometimes I'm lucid (and by this I mean self-aware during the dream, able to recognize that it is a dream and occasionally exercise some measure of conscious control.) I often experience recurring themes, and I often have memory of past dreams within dreams. That is, within a dream, I'll actually have memory of past dreams, especially if a recurring element is present ("wait a minute.. I've had this dream before..") and furthermore.. in my waking life I can't always perceive whether something I'm remembering is from my waking world or from a dream. You know those flashback sort of images you get when a memory is too far away for you to really remember, you just have a snapshot? (Early childhood stuff mostly.) Yeah, I'm not always sure whether those are things that actually happened to me or not. Kinda weird.
Often I find myself wishing that I could stay in dreamland for longer.. when I wake from a particularly vivid or intense dream, the first half hour or more of my mental state is what I would call "reverie", not fully awake yet, my mind feels coated by a thick film of that dream state, not fully separated from it yet. At these times all that I want is to go back there, stay there longer, hold on for just a while more though every minute it slips further away through my fingertips. Soon this state begins to deteriorate and the memory starts to fade, along with the essence and meaning, until little or no coherent plot even remains.
I often dream about specific people and the camaraderie I share with this dream person feels very real to me. I often wake feeling as though I really have shared something meaningful and special with this person (whomever it may be) and am immediately inclined to seek them out and attempt to share this with them. Is this creepy? I hope it's not, I'm always flattered when someone dreams about me. Anyway, it's always more than a little disappointing to me when I realize that this shared bonding experience was, of course, really just an illusion. Usually 1-2 hours after waking, this sensation fades and I start to feel stupid for going and posting to them on facebook as though it could actually mean anything to them.
We may never see each other, we may not have seen each other in years, we may not be more than acquaintances, but it's perfectly possible that you and I have shared deep emotional journeys together in the darkest hours of the night.
Can anyone relate to any of this?
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| Friday, August 13th, 2010
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7:44 pm - Nutcracker, Sweeeeeeet..?
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Wow.. did I hear that right? In "Fantasia" (1980) the narrator says: "The one composition of Tchaikovsky's that he really detested was his Nutcracker Suite, which is probably the most popular thing he ever wrote. It's a series of dances taken out of a full-length ballet called "The Nutcracker" that he once composed for the St. Petersburg Opera House. It wasn't much of a success and nobody performs it nowadays."
Um.. what? It's pretty amazing that Tchaikovsky can write a piece in 1892, that a classic educational art film 50 years later can say "nobody performs it nowadays" and that another 70 years after that, our favourite info source (Wikipedia) says: "The Nutcracker has become perhaps the most popular of all ballets."
What a hoot, eh? The evolution of taste is worth examination. So strange how it comes and goes in waves. Humans like to feel part of something together. Unification, does it evolve? It seems to travel in circles.. but how is it that we embrace these patterns, circles (habits, trends) as our nature when at the same time we rush headlong to embrace linear advance, the constant strive to move forward, become something more, go farther, faster, better, better, best. A strange contradiction.
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5:34 pm - Xena-stalgia
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I've never thought much about role models, but as I sit down to watch s01e01 of Xena: Warrior Princess, it occurs to me that I *worshipped* this show. You should see the collection of paraphernalia sitting in boxes back in Markham. I bet you didn't know there was a Xena magazine for a while. I had her battle cry down to an art. Interestingly it was the side-kick, Gabrielle, with whom I identified. Maybe I fancied myself a combination.. this was a time in my young life when I would grasp the horns of an orange inflatable bouncy ball [like this one] during commercials and tear back and forth down the hallway until I panted for breath. (I loved pretending I was riding Xena's awesome horse Argo.) I remember that my parents didn't like me spending Saturday afternoons watching television, the epic Sinbad, Hercules, Xena lineup, but I probably got a good bit of cardio exercise in during the commercials! I was so good at becoming completely immersed in my fantasies, pretending I was someone else, somewhere else, really seeing what I imagined. A coping mechanism perhaps.
The music still makes my heart swell with adventure. I wish I could go back, just gently release my hold on reality as I did as a child, just once in a while. It's something I've been practicing. I firmly do not believe that one should ever keep too tight a grasp on reality.
Open minds are so better able to adapt, to accept, to hope.
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| Thursday, July 29th, 2010
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7:38 pm - Books: The Oxford Book of Canadian Short Stories in English, Pt 1.
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I won't be writing about every short story in this collection, only those which stand out to me, to help me remember and to give me something to write about.
The Oxford Book of Canadian Short Stories in English, Selected by Margaret Atwood & Robert Weaver (Oxford University Press 1988)
Sinclair Ross, "The Lamp at Noon" (b. 1908)
It always surprises me that I'm able to make my way through (dry) stories about the prairies. Some part of me relates and finds the imagery familiar. I have family in the prairies. "Even while listening to the storm outside, he could feel the tense and apprehensive stillness of the stable... he would have known, despite the darkness, that every stall was filled. They, too, were all listening." The story is brief, self-contained and, though written a century ago, sheds a still pertinent light on the subtle power struggle that often exists between a man and his wife. If the primary concern of each is the other, both remain cared for. It is deceptively easy to forget that being happy is more important than being "right." Stubborn pride is a thief clutching a cold, hard jewel that he devours with his eyes while his stomach wastes away with hunger because trying to sell it would have him caught. Needing to always be "right" leads only to hollow victory.
Charles G.D. Roberts "Do Seek Their Meat From God" (1860-1943)
A similarly self-contained message (I suppose most short stories are pretty self-contained eh? What I mean is that light is only shed on a small piece of a larger picture, though the meaning is delivered without the larger story needing to bear any examination.) This story parallels man and his child against beast and his cub. Not so aloof from the harsh realities of nature as he would like, man must kill or be killed. A man saves a child, not even knowing it was his own, from panthers desperate for food. The child is saved, but two little panther cubs are unwittingly condemned to a cold and lonely death. This is an interesting message for me, the animals "seek their meat from God" as do all creatures seek to perpetuate their own survival. Where do you draw the line between instinctual survival and bloody religious wars "in the name of God"?
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| Wednesday, July 28th, 2010
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12:55 pm
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I should post more. I don't know why I don't. I don't think anyone wants to read what I have to say, I don't have many friends left with enough personal interest to justify the effort. Also it seems like I have nothing to say but complaints lately, and nobody likes a complainer.
For the sake of an update:
-We're at the new apartment now (Flemingdon Park), it's nice, it has it's up and downs.
-I've had an infection in my throat for 12 days now, conclusion seems to be that it's viral and I must wait for it to go away on its own eventually.
-My birthday was last week, I slept through most of it. My only pleasure to be had was food, but I had no appetite and the antibiotics I was taking made everything taste bitter.
-We had a housewarming/birthday party on the weekend, my family stopped by in the afternoon, as did Chelsea and Maria, and Justin stopped by for a little bit later on, but overall it was absolutely pathetic. Everyone is out of town, or working, or sick, but the facts remain that neither Taylor or myself have many friends, not many who consider us enough of an investment to make the effort anymore anyway. My desire to start fresh in a new place (school in the states) has been very much rekindled.
-I've been having migraines for the last few days, though have not been able to correlate them to the weather.. it seems the issues in my right throat lymph node are affecting that whole side of my head, I've been sleeping for all but a handful of hours each day.
-Taylor has been working in stupid places like Beaverton and Bracebridge for the last couple of weeks, he's also been filling in on bass with his old band, meaning most days I see him for maybe half an hour if you factor in showering, his small portion of *him* time and his inevitable crash in to bed.
There's nothing much else to be said. I'm not sure what to do with myself. All I can do for now is hope that something unexpected and positive will come from the woodwork. I can't imagine what though.
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| Friday, July 23rd, 2010
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12:01 pm
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By the way, I hold personal grudges against people who forget or don't bother to say happy birthday to me ;)
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| Monday, June 14th, 2010
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2:07 am - Rambles
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Why do I always assume that people should care about me, take a personal interest? I suppose because I take a personal interest in everyone my life touches. How could I not? Isn't that the one real redeeming quality of humanity? Caring about someone other than yourself? Valuing life for the miracle that it is. I value my own equally, more or less depending on the reach of my control. It *is* all about you being happy, yes, that is the central driving factor in your life, but there's not usually a reason for that to be separate from the happiness of anyone else. Eating ice cream makes me happy, but so does bringing a smile to a stranger's face. The latter feeling is the longer lasting one. I resist the idea of volunteer work though. I'm lazy. Odd contradiction, no? I'm too lazy to be happy. What have we come to? Anyways, the point is that despite my laziness I still find every person I encounter worth knowing better. Most people don't seem to understand that pervasive curiousity which I take as part and parcel of who I am. It hurts my feelings when people aren't curious about who I am, when people aren't naturally driven to better understand me.
I spend a lot of time listening to people, or observing them, trying to evaluate what they mean instead of what they say, and why they express themselves in the ways that they do, and in turn how best to give them what they're asking for (without words), within the bounds of my own honesty and integrity. This isn't something I make an effort to do, it's something I just do. I'm relatively confident in my ability to "read" people. More bluntly, at times when I feel in control of my own emotions, I think I can quite effectively socially manipulate. (Not in a negative way. Never fear, I don't use my powers for evil!) Nonetheless, I haven't successfully translated this comprehension into practice, that is, I don't seem to be particularly good at making or maintaining friendships. In all likelihood it's a self-esteem issue, I'm much more comfortable observing and not putting my feelings on the line. I've always wished I was one of the people who just have that certain je-ne-sais-quoi which others gravitate to.. you just want to be friends with them. You just do. Renee. Toria. Jodi. Jamie. To name a few, for those of you who know them. It must be a confidence thing, right? Pheromones? Do some people just have really attractive pheromones, and that natural attraction has bred confidence throughout their life, which has in turn increased the magnetism? (Coming to fruition at varied points as people "come into their own.") Is it something you work for? Achieve? I don't really think so, is there a mix at least?
I get too think-ish when I'm up past midnight. Good thing or bad thing? You tell me. Only aim really is to make you think. Kind of inevitable really, I'd like to hope!
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| Saturday, May 22nd, 2010
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11:41 am - Books: His Dark Materials by Philip Pullman
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Almost immediately I found the writing easier to read than I did with Narnia, I believe this is because the writing was more complex, for an older audience. Indeed, I don't think this was written for children. I read The Golden Compass (aka. The Northern Lights) years ago, and when there was controversy over the movie I was confused, it all seemed so innocent. Having read the trilogy in its entirety.. wow, it is heavily political and anti-church, but not in a way that I find negative. It is anti-church in the sense that it exposes religious convention seeking to oppress truth and freedom and the real oneness of the universe in order to protect the earthly power of its institution. These novels reach far beyond anything I could have hoped, focusing heavily on particle physics and on the kingdom of heaven, the battle between good and evil, creating a unity between these concepts that far surpasses any other story about God and man. The story delves into the creation and existence of human consciousness, the inherent love between consciousness and matter on both physical and spiritual levels.
My attention rarely wavered. The third book was slow at times, due to the contrivances necessary to bring the plot full-circle. It did so beautifully, and left some sense of mystery and longing even as it sweetly and gently drew to conclusion. I feel as though I know myself better, understand consciousness and the universe more fully from immersing myself in this story. Through the last 50 or so pages my tears flowed freely for the beauty of the story and the loss as it came to an end. This is the quality I seek in fiction, in fantasy especially. I become so immersed that it becomes a dream-like experience.. when I finish the book I awake from the dream and for a time I remain in an altered state of consciousness, feeling the beauty on a higher lever, and mourning the loss, not ready to focus my mind back on my physical world, but seeping there inevitably.
I love that Keats is quoted (from 1817 on his theory of negative capability.)
It's difficult right now for me to contemplate moving to a new book, I wish I could luxuriate in Pullman's world for longer. I think I will try something a bit different now, perhaps Twain.
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| Wednesday, May 5th, 2010
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11:19 am - Books: The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis
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I have stacks of books that I haven't read and this summer I intend to read as many of them as possible, but I had to kick it off by starting with an old favourite. The essay I wrote for my "Christianity and Pop Culture" course this term was about the techniques used by C.S. Lewis to open the world up to Christianity in The Chronicles of Narnia. I learned in my research that he wasn't trying to promote Christianity, nor was he really intending to write for children (he converted to Christianity when he was 30, began writing The Chronicles when he was about 50.. a bachelor with no children, and expressly uncomfortable around children.) These books do parallel a great many Christian events (genesis, paradise, the death & resurrection of Christ, the apocalypse) but function primarily by nurturing open-mindedness to the beyond and to seeing more than what is in front of your eyes.
I re-read the series from start to finish. It was less engrossing than when I was small but the concepts were clearer and more beautiful. (I adored these books when I was a kid, I would hide 20 dollar bills in the pages with my favourite pictures.. sadly I didn't uncover any I had forgotten about!) The Christian connotations became, for me, a little more openly self-gratifying than I would have liked in the last novel which portrays the end of the world, but also more beautiful. They enter a stable door and find themselves in a different world entirely.. exclaiming that the inside is actually larger than the outside. Lucy comments: "Yes, In our world too, a stable once had something inside it that was bigger than our whole world." I finally understand and appreciate this reference! On the second last page of the last book, the children look at the great lion Aslan (aka. Christ or God in a way): "And as He spoke He no longer looked to them like a lion". I am not a Christian, but I find the concepts and subtleties in these novels very beautiful and inspiring. The description of the end of the world is especially interesting.. the stars are called back from the skies, the seas rise, Father Time awakens with a new name.
Next on the list: the His Dark Materials trilogy (The Golden Compass, The Subtle Knife, The Amber Spyglass)
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| Saturday, April 24th, 2010
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5:35 pm - Oh the horror..
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I really like chinese food. Ho-Lee-Chow is too expensive and the only other place I've actually been to in the city is New Ho King, so I've been there and ordered from there a few times.. last night I ordered because Tay was going for dinner with his dad.. it arrived before he left and I was picking away.. I specified NO peanuts/nuts/nut oils. When it came I was getting frustrating that I order Chow Mein noodles and get what I consider Lo Mein instead (apparently they're names used somewhat interchangeably?!) So I had opened the container and went "oh damn" and asked Tay if he would call and ask about it for me.. I hadn't eaten any of it yet, only licked my fingers.. but anyways a few minutes later in conversation I noticed my mouth feeling itchy but shrugged it off. Taylor left and I opened the container again to dig in, got a big forkful to put on my plate.. and then got a big whiff of peanut butter. I immediately freaked out, took Benadryl, got a new fork and plate and washed my hands and closed the container and left it at the bottom of the bag. Years ago when my family ordered chinese food, I had a reaction because the chef had mixed a spoon of peanut butter in with the lo mein noodles.. unfortunately I think this a common thing to do but at that time I didn't smell or taste it. I got Taylor to call today and ask about it and the woman claimed they only use vegetable oil and no nuts and blah blah unless its Kung Pao or something special... but I got Taylor to smell it and he was like "omg, wow, yeah that smells like peanut butter, I'm throwing this out." I'm guessing the chef did mix peanut butter in for seasoning and the servers just have no idea because it's not a standard ingredient?
Either way, I'm really glad I smelled it before it got to my mouth. So scary :*( makes me not want to eat anything else I order but it would be such a waste of both food and money. Sucks for me big time. I always feel like it's just a friggin miracle that I make it through any day I spend in public areas. (Elementary/High school were a friggin nightmare!)
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| Saturday, April 10th, 2010
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12:25 pm - Paintings and Boobs
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| Wednesday, March 17th, 2010
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9:16 am - GGGRRAAAAAAGGGHHHHHHH
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This is the MOST FRUSTRATING rejection I've received so far... "I want to hasten to say that there was considerable enthusiasmin in our department for your application, and you had several supporters among our faculty members." ... "I apologize for the delay in contacting you with information about your application, and I sincerely regret that I don't have better news after all this time. But I want you to know that several of us felt your application was quite appealing, and I have no doubt you are going to have a successful academic career. I will be eager to see where your career takes you."
*cries*
but... but... *cries* so close? There's ONE more place I'm waiting to hear from (not including U of T), though even if they admitted me my professors would likely advise me to just get my MA at UofT and reapply anyway. But I was so close to this one. SO CLOSE. FAAAAACK. WWWHHYYYY?!?! So close to doing my PhD in California.. what a tease!!1!
AAANNNGGGSSSSTTT
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(comment on this)
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| Tuesday, March 9th, 2010
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3:40 pm - Damn Waiting
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BLLAAAHHHH so impatient to hear back from universities.. I hate just not knowing where I'll be 4 months from now or what I'll be doing.. the up-in-the-air bit is so unnerving, can't start any plans or preparations until I know. Even though I'm 99% sure I'll be staying here, the 6 some odd letters I haven't received yet keep me hanging by my fingernails.
My parents are great. I'm really happy with the way our relationship has matured over the last few years. They've helped me so much.
Ummmm.. have some more... ( paintings? )
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